Seriously? On the subway? Part 3.

I thought long and hard about what I was going to put in this next subway post, truth is not a lot has happened since my last one. I was worried it’d go too long and I’d have to just stop altogether.

Then today happened. Let’s just say it hasn’t been a great day. I think I’ve learnt that entering something in a rush is always a bad idea and the subway is no different. So, I was in a rush and of course the first thing to stop someone hastening to the train is the barriers. Of course they didn’t open, and of course the screen said “insufficient balance” which meant I then had to fork out this months FIFTY POUNDS (always a sore topic) to renew my 28 day balance.

So, drama over, I can just ride the train to Hillhead, trot on into Uni and get on with my day. But of course if only it were that pain-free, life had a few more tricks in store.

Sitting across from me was a girl with a big red sports bag, eventually clocking it as a Lancaster University bag I got quite excited. Some great friends of mine happen to go there and it was my first choice for University back in the day, alas. Anyway, I decided it would be funny if I took a picture, sent it to them and have a nice jolly giggle about old times. So, as one does, I opened up the camera app, hit the button and…


She noticed. I died several deaths of embarrassment and then had to partake in a massive charade in which I turned the flash on and off to pretend it was still working to try and stave her off the idea that I was in fact taking a picture of her. Obviously once her suspicions were set aside I then turned the flash OFF and took the picture, after all that it would’ve been a damn waste of energy not to emerge with my “spotted” picture.

So, embarrassment quota for the day well and truly fulfilled after crashing into a closed barrier and flashing some poor girl, I was pretty much ready to write today off altogether. I probably should have too, because the ordeal still hadn’t finished.

I always take the stairs pretty fast, I just think why waste time on the most arduous part of travel: going up. So I hit the escalator at speed and begin to climb, still walking as they accelerate me to the top of the station. Just as the steps levelled out into the flat part my foot catches on the last one and I sprawl spectacularly over the flatter end of the escalator.

I think when falling we all picture a very graceful descent towards a soft landing, one which the surrounding onlookers all admire and reflect on how a being of such grace can be so effortlessly fabulous. This is never the case. Especially when the surface you hit is still moving and you feel yourself teetering dangerously close to another quick descent, one which could most likely kill you.  The only thing I could do was throw myself onto stable unmoving ground, scoop up my belongings and limp my now well-defeated dignity out of the station.

I hate days like this.


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