Ice.

I“Do you trust me?” This is how the day started, a simple sentence, potentially perfectly innocent.

“Well, you shouldn’t have.” This is what he followed it up with. As he took the blindfold off and revealed he’d led me right into the middle of the frozen lake, deep in the forest.

Miles from help, at least a hundred feet from safety, he held my arms to my sides and told me he was done, and that he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

And then he skated away.

So. Reality check, I’m good at those. Don’t panic, that’s always a good place to start with these things. I’m on the surface of the biggest lake I’ve ever seen, it’s frozen, the ice seems fine. It has to be fine if we walked this far out.

I take a step and hear a rumbling reply from underneath. Ok, it’s not fine. That is SO not fine…

I fall into the hall as the door rushes the closely-avoided death of cold in behind me. My mum sees me shaking on the floor and Dad rushes to me with a duvet from upstairs. They call the police and tell them exactly what I had told them.

This is what I wished had happened. The water systematically shuts me down as I sink further and I see them reflected in the water. I reach for them as consciousness fades and my heart freezes, to ice.

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