I feel like I’ve learnt not to expect things from people that really can’t be bothered. I think at this point in my life I don’t have the time to be messing around with those that don’t want to be around. If someone wants to see me or be a part of my life then they’ll let me know. If not, then that’s fine, people go on the back burner for a while. Sometimes friendships fizzle out and light up again with time, it happens.
In saying that though, it’s become apparent that some people look at you for what you’re worth to them. And I’m sick of that, I shouldn’t valued by what I can do for someone else, I should be valued because I’m a good friend. Anyone who expects to phase me out when I’ve grown boring can go do one.
*mini rant over*
I had such a bad time with people leaving, 2012 was worse, people would just leave without a second’s notice. I didn’t understand and I wallowed in it for months, more than I care to admit (even to myself). Eventually I had to open the curtains, take in the world outside and move on. It’s meant that if anything comes to the end of the line with someone it can just happen naturally. It doesn’t have to be a major dramatic event. People leave, but sometimes they come back.
This has led me to really appreciate people when they do make an effort. The most basic example of this is just sending a text. As the year has gone on I’ve sent less texts just to see who actually dishes them out. Surprise surprise, I was waiting a while but eventually someone takes the time to say hello and usually they’ll have something worthwhile in mind. Thank you to those people who have made this year worthwhile, chances are you’ll know who you are.
People have genuinely surprised me this year, I look back in my diary and one day I’ll be going about my daily business and the next I’ll have written pages about someone who’s just exploded back onto my radar out of nowhere. It’s been a great year for that, I’ve loved those moments, they were fantastic.
As for the relationship front I’ve tried to make a point of not writing about it on WordPress at all because it’s just redundant. It has been prevalent this year, so I’ll mention it in jest:
Still no developments. Cue the audience of “awwh”s.
I have tried! I went on dates, as date-like as they could be, anyway. I went on one just after I moved to Glasgow and it was awful. The guy didn’t even make eye contact, just stared into his drink and didn’t make any kind of attempt at conversation. Not being one to give in to awkwardness I tried to ask him things to try and get him to open up. Nope, nothing. He wasn’t budging. After about ten minutes of this I gave up and I’m not one to just turn around and be nasty to someone so I sent out an SOS:
Call me in about a minute, DEMAND I come help you with something, doesn’t matter what. JUST GET ME OUT OF THIS.
90 seconds later I was well on my way home to bed, to Bridget Jones and copious amounts of whatever cured a serious case of cringe (probably chocolate or something at that time).
That encounter pretty much sums up my dating life up to the present day. Awkward with no eye contact and a deep sense of a need to escape. Great.